At hamilton east school we had cross contry
all the kids had to race.
it starts at year 0's to year 6's.
when it was time for year 4 girls to race l started to get really exited.
miss D said to come at the starting place.
well all of us were exited and some of us were ready and some were not.
Erin warmed us up by doing star jumps. then miss D said when she bangs the blocks together then we go... she bangs them and we went. l speeded up a little with the girls l past heaps of girls. when it got up to the hill l slowed down. charlie and summer were in the lead l past the office and out the gate l saw whaea maria was chearing me on l kept on going. l ran a another lap charlie and summer were still in the lead. l just needed to go down a little hill. yay l made it l got a bottle top lid that had the number 3 in it yay l came 3erd. they took a photo of us and now lm going to go to into schools.
Wow, what a great piece of writing. You have described in order the cross-country from your point of view. You can improve this piece of writing by going back and adding capitals to start sentences and for people's names, like Mrs D. I wonder if you could find out how to use apostrophes (') and whether you need them on plural words or not, e.g. Year 0s.
ReplyDeleteIt was fantastic to see you doing so well in the cross country and awesome to read such a great account of your experience. Once you follow Whaea Georgia's advice about re-crafting it will be even easier to read!
ReplyDeletethank you well its been a long time and I'm with a different teacher now and hope its still going good with you well I have to go no bye from maria Rm 8
DeleteIt was fantastic to see you doing so well in the cross country and awesome to read such a great account of your experience. Once you follow Whaea Georgia's advice about re-crafting it will be even easier to read!
ReplyDeletewow maria that is some good writing you were so good in the cross country i wish i came third like you try your best in into-schools
ReplyDeletelove from kaya room 9
oh thank you kaya
ReplyDelete